Fear’s Power

Fear has this insane ability to cripple us. Nothing truly brings you to your knees like a true phobia. I will never claim to be fearless because my phobias certainly make me look like a total wimp when they arise in my life. Needles, spiders, and falling, seem to rule my life sometimes.

I was 18 before I could muster up enough courage to get my ears pierced. I had already graduated high school and was preparing for my first year of college before I decided that I wanted to wear pretty and fun earrings more than I feared the event that would make that possible. Sitting in the chair at Claire’s I felt pretty silly. I know I should have gone to a real professional to get it done, but we were in the mall and I decided spur of the moment to get it done and over with.

I had seen little girls just hop into the chair and not even flinch when they got their first or even second holes. My fear had me shaking and begging me to chicken out again just like I had every other time I had tried. Starting at age six my godmother tried to take me several times to get my ears pierced, but I couldn’t make it past the colored marker making dots on the skin to make sure they were even on both sides. (On a side note, I had my ears pierced for almost a year before I even managed to remember to tell my God mother that I had finally done it. Sorry.)

When I finally sat down in the chair I asked if they could have another person come over and help so both sides could get done at the same time. That way it would be over quicker. While they set that up, I picked out some starter earrings that had my birthstone on them. By the count of three it was over with and I was being told about after care instructions.

The relief that I felt afterwards was pretty euphoric. I was sort of dizzy and not paying that much attention to the world around me. All I wanted to do was pose for pictures that I could then send to my friends to show them that I finally had done it and could wear pretty earrings.

Looking back, I really wish I had just faced my fear and gotten my ears pierced earlier in life, like those other little girls. Then I could have worn fancy earrings to my high school dances and on the few dates I actually have been on. Learning that I can’t change the past and I just need to live with my life story has been an interesting journey for me. I guess this is just one more quirk that makes me unique.