Writer’s Block: Shake It Out

Being a writer is never a straight forward process. It requires creativity and inspiration. When I write, I have music playing, but it can’t have lyrics because then my mind will attach to those words and not the words on my page. It also can’t be too loud, or I get a bit overwhelmed by the noise.

Music is one thing that helps when I have writer’s block. I will be listening to music in the car while I drive, and scenes that I want to put in my book will pop up in my mind. Usually they are related to the song that I have playing but I try and use those ideas when they actually fit the flow of the story. Can’t just throw something in because I thought of it, it has to mesh with the rest of the plot line.

I also will put on music when I am really blocked. Stepping away from my keyboard, I will dance for a little bit. Nothing too crazy, but enough to shake up my body and the moment. Focusing on dancing and the music helps me feel a bit more energized. It might even spark emotions that I want to convey through my characters. The feeling of the music becomes a sound track that helps me get the creativity flowing again.

Another tactic is a change of scenery. For a while I was writing with a tower computer. I would sit at my desk and work on my book. Often this led to me having a hard time sitting still. I would swish back and forth in my chair, tap my finger on the desk, and stare off into space trying to think of something that was good enough to capture my attention again, to write about, to continue the story. Now that I have a laptop again, I can be found in multiple spaces around the house, working in a setting that just feels right for the day. I will be in my room, with the door closed, when I feel the need for space, or I will set up camp in one of the living room chairs when I want to feel like I am still part of the tempo of the house.

My pets are also a wonderful distraction. They have no preconceived right or wrong ideas of how to act, so having them around, and playing with them, will help me find a new angle to see things from. They make me laugh and pull me close when they want a hug. Sometimes all I need is to curl up with one of them for a moment and take a deep breath. I am forever grateful for them.

Writing a book takes patience, something I am still working on improving. Funny thing is, I tend to have more of that virtue when the creativity is flowing.

The Family Pet

I always was surrounded by animals growing up. Several dogs at once, and a few cats that would lounge around the house like royalty. My current lot is three dogs, (River, Cooper, and Maggie), and three cats (Erza, Pho, and Gobi). Something I have learned being with these animals through my life, is there is a very deep connection that forms between an owner and the pet. Even if the animal did not choose you as their human, you become attached to the creature, and your memories have this happy glow to them.

My pets have always been furry, and that would be because I am not a huge fan of the other varieties. I am glad that other people find space in their hearts for these animals, because I certainly wouldn’t be able to properly take care of them due to my aversion. If you own a creature of the scaly persuasion, then I am truly happy for you. Those animals deserve to have the best life that can be given to them.

Cats in particular seem to really enjoy being around me. Since I was ten years old I have been a proud cat mom. Now for those who are against using the parent terms with our fur babies, please note that I have thought it through and found it appropriate. You take care of every need these animals have. You buy them toys and food, take them to the doctor when they are under the weather. There is a responsibility that you take on when you adopt an animal. I don’t have kids, so I can’t compare completely, but too many people their pets are their babies.

As a cat mom, I have had a partner in crime, a best friend, and a furry soulmate all wrapped into one. Smokey was my first cat. My dad brought home two kittens when I was ten years old. They had been barn cats and he only meant to adopt one, but couldn’t separate them because they were playing together and having the best time. So Smokey and her brother Riley became part of our family. Riley chose my younger sister as his person, and he completely understood what she needed out of that relationship. Smokey chose me and I was completely honored to be her person.

It wasn’t very obvious at first, but turned out that Smokey was born blind. There was no physical problem with her eyes, which we a crystal blue that I just adored, so we assumed that the connection along her optic nerve or in her brain wasn’t quite working. This fact never changed anything for me and our relationship though. Even though she couldn’t see like an average cat, she never knew what she was missing. I would pick out toys that made noise, or had reflective surfaces because it seemed like she could pick out some lights and shadows. Smell was a big thing for her, and it seemed to drive how she found her way around the world.

At age 24, I unfortunately lost her due to the original brain condition that she was born with. The vet told me to be very proud of how long she had lived because most cats with brain issues don’t live to be 14. Two weeks later, I adopted Erza. Some may say that is too fast to adopt another, but I had all this love to give and without my cat to give it to, I was lost. Erza helped heal me. She gave me plenty of reasons to smile again and to feel safe loving another cat like I had with Smokey.

Each animal has their own personality. Smokey was fairly calm, and took her time figuring out her next move. Erza loves to play with my pens, and throws her whole self into every adventure she possibly can have. (Obviously this will sometimes get her into trouble.) These differences made me feel my grief in the beginning, when I so desperately wanted Smokey back. However as time has gone by, I realized that I love that Erza is not a carbon copy of my first kitty. I enjoy watching her eyes and how they explore her surroundings, mostly because Smokey’s eyes never reacted to her world. Erza chases after toys that I throw, and I really enjoy that I am finding a new way to interact with my cat.

Our pets have love to give, and I am completely certain that they understand us in their own way. They come give us cuddles when we are sad. They know when to back off and give us a moment to ourselves. Specific words make more sense to them, like your word for their favorite toys, or what you call their meals/food. Overall though, I know that Erza understands me when I explain something to her, and the other animals in my house show the same intelligence spark in their eyes. (Don’t get me wrong there are some animals that are not the brightest crayon in the box, but the same goes for people.)

That bond that forms between us and our pets is incredibly strong and I know that I never want to go for very long in my life without having some form of it. To know the love of an animal, is to know truly unconditional love. They don’t know the concept of hate, or prejudice. It certainly makes me laugh when I see them thinking that a stranger is just a friend they haven’t met yet. They never dislike someone without getting to know who they really are.

I will forever be thankful for the time I got with Smokey, and all my other pets who have passed on. I am also so grateful for the bonds that I have now. The possibility of even more bonds out there that I have yet to make excites me. Hopefully some of you readers feel the same way.

Introducing Erza

On November 19th, 2019 I lost my childhood cat Smokey. Smokey was incredibly special to me and losing her hit me particularly hard. For the first bit I was processing my grief, I noticed that I was mostly missing the small moments of companionship that Smokey had shared with me. The solution that my Mom found was to chose another companion in the form of another cat.

Exactly two weeks after losing Smokey, my mom picked me up from campus. I was in college at the time. We headed for the local humane society and asked to see the kittens that they had at the shelter. Due to the amount they had living there, they had dedicated a room to house the kittens.

I was first to get to the door, so I opened it. The moment the door was open far enough one of the kittens vaulted over the baby gate that was supposed to prevent them from leaving the room in one large group. While the shelter employee and my mom corralled the escapee, I continued into the room.

Several kittens looked up at me and a few others were trying to hide. There were several different types of cat, from long to short hair, and several different colors. Maybe it was the contrast from Smokey, who looked like a Siamese, I was looking for, or maybe just loving the incredible colors, but I found myself reaching for the calicos. (Calico cats have black, white, and orange coloring on their fur, that is featured in blocks of colors, not mixed.)

The first calico I picked up, even though I didn’t know it at the time, was the kitten that had tried to escape. Apparently when she had gotten out of the room she made a bee line for the front door like she was trying to run away from the shelter. The moment I got her into my arms she started purring. I felt this instant connection with this tiny life.

On the inside of the door was a list of the kittens in the room. The list included their names, ages, and identifying features. Looking on the list I managed to place a name with the five month old kitten in my arms, Erza. At first I read it as Ezra, which makes me laugh now, and I had to read her name at least three times before I realized the letters were correct but I had mispronounced her name. Even through the name issues, Erza was still purring and making herself comfy in my arms.

I tried my best to really consider my options, considering how many kittens there was to choose from, but I had this connection growing with Erza as she purred in my arms. So I informed my mom and the shelter employee of my choice.

That connection that I could feel starting with Erza, was very similar to the bond that I had with Smokey. Maybe it is wishful thinking, but I think Smokey played a part in getting Erza and me together. She told Erza that her family was coming and that is why Erza jumped the gate. Doesn’t hurt that Erza has proven to be very curious about the world.

We ended up taking home a second kitten from the shelter as well as Erza. This kitty ended up bonding with my brother and is named Gobi, like the desert. My mom couldn’t leave Gobi at the shelter because in the viewing window, he was trying his best to show how much he just wanted love.

Erza, Gobi, and Gobi’s litter mate Pho, that we had adopted from Pet Smart a few days before, are now three years old and will be four in June. They explore and play all the time. I am beyond grateful for Erza and all the healing she has helped me through.