Twin Ideas

Fun fact about me is that my maternal grandmother is an identical twin. This last weekend we celebrated their birthdays and we started sharing stories about how people around us reacted through our lives about having twins in the family. My grandma and aunt had a great time and laughter was the main sound to be heard over dinner and cake.

I think my favorite moment was when my friends would finally meet my great aunt at my graduation parties or various significant birthday gatherings. They would see the two sisters sitting next to each other, come up to me and ask, “There is two of them?” I can’t help but laugh each time I get asked that question. Once I am done laughing, I take a moment and explain. Once I am done explaining everything is fine again and they laugh off their question.

In the past I have gotten asked if my grandma is cheating on my grandpa. That once also makes me giggle. My grandparent have been married for over fifty years. They are very happy together. So not only does the idea of it make me laugh, but the almost inside secret that I am privy to that others don’t know about. When I explain the whole twin situation, they usually get embarrassed for even asking the question. I have to admire them for even asking in the first place because it takes quite a bit of guts to ask at all. (Side note: A man who worked for a grocery store was the first one that I know of to make this assumption. My grandparents would shop at the same store as my great aunt and uncle but on different days.)

Having a grandparent who is a twin certainly come with lots of laughter. I love having something extra fun about my family that has become an inside joke for us. And honestly there is no real difference between my grandmas, maternal and paternal, even though one is a twin. It mostly feels like I was given an extra grandma via my aunt. Because they are identical, I do include her in my medical records, but that is all the real difference.

I love my family and the unique parts of it that make for interesting stories and tales. They make my life filled with laughter.

The Family Pet

I always was surrounded by animals growing up. Several dogs at once, and a few cats that would lounge around the house like royalty. My current lot is three dogs, (River, Cooper, and Maggie), and three cats (Erza, Pho, and Gobi). Something I have learned being with these animals through my life, is there is a very deep connection that forms between an owner and the pet. Even if the animal did not choose you as their human, you become attached to the creature, and your memories have this happy glow to them.

My pets have always been furry, and that would be because I am not a huge fan of the other varieties. I am glad that other people find space in their hearts for these animals, because I certainly wouldn’t be able to properly take care of them due to my aversion. If you own a creature of the scaly persuasion, then I am truly happy for you. Those animals deserve to have the best life that can be given to them.

Cats in particular seem to really enjoy being around me. Since I was ten years old I have been a proud cat mom. Now for those who are against using the parent terms with our fur babies, please note that I have thought it through and found it appropriate. You take care of every need these animals have. You buy them toys and food, take them to the doctor when they are under the weather. There is a responsibility that you take on when you adopt an animal. I don’t have kids, so I can’t compare completely, but too many people their pets are their babies.

As a cat mom, I have had a partner in crime, a best friend, and a furry soulmate all wrapped into one. Smokey was my first cat. My dad brought home two kittens when I was ten years old. They had been barn cats and he only meant to adopt one, but couldn’t separate them because they were playing together and having the best time. So Smokey and her brother Riley became part of our family. Riley chose my younger sister as his person, and he completely understood what she needed out of that relationship. Smokey chose me and I was completely honored to be her person.

It wasn’t very obvious at first, but turned out that Smokey was born blind. There was no physical problem with her eyes, which we a crystal blue that I just adored, so we assumed that the connection along her optic nerve or in her brain wasn’t quite working. This fact never changed anything for me and our relationship though. Even though she couldn’t see like an average cat, she never knew what she was missing. I would pick out toys that made noise, or had reflective surfaces because it seemed like she could pick out some lights and shadows. Smell was a big thing for her, and it seemed to drive how she found her way around the world.

At age 24, I unfortunately lost her due to the original brain condition that she was born with. The vet told me to be very proud of how long she had lived because most cats with brain issues don’t live to be 14. Two weeks later, I adopted Erza. Some may say that is too fast to adopt another, but I had all this love to give and without my cat to give it to, I was lost. Erza helped heal me. She gave me plenty of reasons to smile again and to feel safe loving another cat like I had with Smokey.

Each animal has their own personality. Smokey was fairly calm, and took her time figuring out her next move. Erza loves to play with my pens, and throws her whole self into every adventure she possibly can have. (Obviously this will sometimes get her into trouble.) These differences made me feel my grief in the beginning, when I so desperately wanted Smokey back. However as time has gone by, I realized that I love that Erza is not a carbon copy of my first kitty. I enjoy watching her eyes and how they explore her surroundings, mostly because Smokey’s eyes never reacted to her world. Erza chases after toys that I throw, and I really enjoy that I am finding a new way to interact with my cat.

Our pets have love to give, and I am completely certain that they understand us in their own way. They come give us cuddles when we are sad. They know when to back off and give us a moment to ourselves. Specific words make more sense to them, like your word for their favorite toys, or what you call their meals/food. Overall though, I know that Erza understands me when I explain something to her, and the other animals in my house show the same intelligence spark in their eyes. (Don’t get me wrong there are some animals that are not the brightest crayon in the box, but the same goes for people.)

That bond that forms between us and our pets is incredibly strong and I know that I never want to go for very long in my life without having some form of it. To know the love of an animal, is to know truly unconditional love. They don’t know the concept of hate, or prejudice. It certainly makes me laugh when I see them thinking that a stranger is just a friend they haven’t met yet. They never dislike someone without getting to know who they really are.

I will forever be thankful for the time I got with Smokey, and all my other pets who have passed on. I am also so grateful for the bonds that I have now. The possibility of even more bonds out there that I have yet to make excites me. Hopefully some of you readers feel the same way.

Knight in Shining Armor

Today my cousin came to my rescue when I found a bee in our grandparent’s kitchen window. I have never gotten along with that certain insect. Ever since I was a kid, and I got stung by one, I have tried my best to avoid them.

I had heard a buzzing, like a large fly against glass, coming from the kitchen multiple times. Every time I went to point it out to W. the buzzing would stop. Giving up on trying to get him to hear it as well, I stood up to get a glass of juice from the kitchen. Just as I entered the room, I spotted a large bee crawling across the window pane. Quickly I backed away, and asked my cousin to come into the kitchen. When he took the two steps into the room, and I pointed out the flying insect, all he did was ask me what I wanted him to do about it.

I explained that I would be very grateful if he could get a paper towel and take care of the bug. He complied, having to wait a short moment for the bee to fall down the window pane again so he could actually reach it. When he went to flush the bundle, I assume because he moved pass the trash can and towards the bathroom, the now very angry bee stung him through the paper towel. My grandpa joined us in the kitchen shortly after, and had to take five swings to get the bee to give up.

I know we are supposed to be saving the bees, but can you really get upset with the situation when there is no way to get the insect back outside again with the rest of bee kind? Personally, I am not a fan of inside bugs, so most of those that find themselves inside the same building as me, end up in the same situation as this bee. RIP Bee…

Letter to the Future

Recently one of my friends had her second child, and it got me thinking. Maybe, someday, they might need to hear some advice or memories that I have to share. So here is a letter to W. and A., her children, from an honorary auntie.

Dear W. and A.,

Who knows if you will ever actually read this, but I thought I could at least try and leave some form of a note for you in case you need this somewhere down the line. You two were/are my first try at being an adult figure for children. Of course I babysat back in high school but it is different when one of your best friends has kids. With that fact in mind I have a few things that I think you should keep in mind as you explore the world and this crazy thing we call life.

First I want you to know that your mother is one of my favorite people in this world. She has been there for me through quite a bit and has never once complained. You are incredibly lucky to have been blessed to call her your mother. Never forget that you got a good one and that I know for a fact that each day as you grow, she only loves you more and more than the day before. So don’t worry if you have to tell her that you screwed up or that something about you is different than the majority. She will love you just because you are her child. That will never change.

Second, being normal is vastly overrated. Some of the most interesting people I have met in my life are the ones with quirks. They look at the world from a different perspective, and sometimes that is exactly what you need, a fresh set of eyes. Surround yourself with the people who have dance parties while making dinner, and are so passionate about something that they can’t help but share that enthusiasm with the world. Without the type of people who are different from everyone else, we would never have gotten the advancements that make your life easier and more interesting.

Third, create art whenever you can. You may not be hanging in galleries across the country, but you will have a creative spirit. That spark can take you places you only dreamed of. Art is one of the purest forms of self expression, and sharing that with the world is a beautiful thing. Trust me, at least you will be able to decorate your future homes with things that matter to you.

Fourth, know that there is no one right way to do things. If there was only one correct path in life, we would all be the same. Having a world filled with diverse people confirms that there are an infinite amount of ways to move forward with your life. Whatever you attempt, if you get frustrated because it is not working out like you hoped, try another angle. You two are such unique people that there has to be a path that is completely your own.

And lastly, celebrate with your friends. Your mother and I have been there to cheer each other on since high school. I got so excited when she told me that she was expecting you, both times. She was thrilled for me when I had my knee surgery, and then showed her the scars that meant I was healing. When life gives you people that you just connect with, make sure to celebrate their wins and take an interest in more aspects in their lives than just them as a person. It will only show them how invested you are in the friendship and make it that much more rewarding.

You two are incredible and I am honored to be part of your lives. Watching you grow and learn is a true joy. I hope life is easy for you, and that you always know that you have some place to turn should you need it.

Your honorary Auntie,

K. F. Wiltrout

Changing of Seasons

For a while now I have been working on taking a photo of my local spring house in each season. The last one I had to capture was the spring season. Today I finally managed to take that picture. I thought it was so interesting because of the foliage around such a small but unique building, and how it would change through the year. Finally getting the picture to complete my set has gotten me thinking about what else changes with the seasons.

Fashion of course changes. You need to dress according to the weather. Although pretty much all of us know that one guy, usually a teen, who will wear short year round, weather be damned. After the heat of summer I look forward to when it is finally cold enough to wear my own version of a uniform which consists of jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel over shirt. Usually all of this is combined with my current favorite pair of converse shoes.

Activities change with the time of year. In winter you can take your kids sledding down the local hills. Then in summer you take trips to the local pool for swimming lessons. Holiday traditions often follow along with the time of year the holiday takes place in. Christmas has songs that call for a white blanket of snow to be covering the ground outside your window. While a holiday like the 4th of July features water games and grilling out with family and friends.

Something that I am thankful doesn’t seem to change with the seasons, is how close my family is. No matter the weather we find a way to share the love. Home cooked food, fresh treats, pictures sent over text, a long phone call that makes you remember just how great it is to catch up with someone who means quite a bit to you. We always find ways to connect with each other. (I am also grateful for the internet and how easy it has become to stay in touch with family I only get a chance to see in person once a year.)

One of my best friends recently had a baby and I can’t wait to watch as this new life gets to explore and experience what the seasons have to bring. Welcome to the world A. K.!

Fear’s Power

Fear has this insane ability to cripple us. Nothing truly brings you to your knees like a true phobia. I will never claim to be fearless because my phobias certainly make me look like a total wimp when they arise in my life. Needles, spiders, and falling, seem to rule my life sometimes.

I was 18 before I could muster up enough courage to get my ears pierced. I had already graduated high school and was preparing for my first year of college before I decided that I wanted to wear pretty and fun earrings more than I feared the event that would make that possible. Sitting in the chair at Claire’s I felt pretty silly. I know I should have gone to a real professional to get it done, but we were in the mall and I decided spur of the moment to get it done and over with.

I had seen little girls just hop into the chair and not even flinch when they got their first or even second holes. My fear had me shaking and begging me to chicken out again just like I had every other time I had tried. Starting at age six my godmother tried to take me several times to get my ears pierced, but I couldn’t make it past the colored marker making dots on the skin to make sure they were even on both sides. (On a side note, I had my ears pierced for almost a year before I even managed to remember to tell my God mother that I had finally done it. Sorry.)

When I finally sat down in the chair I asked if they could have another person come over and help so both sides could get done at the same time. That way it would be over quicker. While they set that up, I picked out some starter earrings that had my birthstone on them. By the count of three it was over with and I was being told about after care instructions.

The relief that I felt afterwards was pretty euphoric. I was sort of dizzy and not paying that much attention to the world around me. All I wanted to do was pose for pictures that I could then send to my friends to show them that I finally had done it and could wear pretty earrings.

Looking back, I really wish I had just faced my fear and gotten my ears pierced earlier in life, like those other little girls. Then I could have worn fancy earrings to my high school dances and on the few dates I actually have been on. Learning that I can’t change the past and I just need to live with my life story has been an interesting journey for me. I guess this is just one more quirk that makes me unique.

Easter Weekend: Family Style

On my Mom’s side of the family we have never been very religious. Easter mostly serves as an excuse to come together and spend time with family that we don’t see that often. My Mom has an older sister, who has a family unit of four, and a younger brother, with a family unit of four as well. As the youngest generation grows up, not all of us will spend Easter at home, but the majority of the family shows up.

In the grandkid generation there is my older brother, myself, my younger sister, our cousin L., cousin W., cousin A., and cousin C. all together most of the time. L. spent this year with her boyfriend and his family so we were one grandkid short of a set, but she did a video call to make sure she could say hello and pass on Easter greetings.

Cousins A. and C. are the youngest, at seven (C.) and eight (A.) years old. My aunt and her husband live with them in Minnesota, so whenever they visit, I am very happy to see them. Thankfully this time around, they arrived on Friday so we got more than just one day to hang out and have fun. The girls decorated the driveway of my family’s house, since we were hosting and the weather was so nice. Seeing them draw out this massive hop scotch game reminded me of warm sunny days trying to make the biggest and longest course I could on the sidewalk/surrounding pavement. I would use as many colors as I could to make it more fun and pretty.

Obviously part of Saturday was spent coloring eggs. Each person gets one egg with their name on it, and those are saved for the next morning’s breakfast. Any additional eggs that have been hard boiled, are still colored and put away for the next morning, but they are fair game to any who are hungry. We use crayons to make designs and make sure to leave the eggs in the dye long enough to make the colors extra bold. The vinegar smell always brings back memories of past years when we would dye eggs, but it also reminds me of midsummer when we make brine for that year’s homemade pickles.

The dogs absolutely adore the weekends when we all get together as well. My family’s three, River, Maggie, and Cooper, get together with my grandparent’s dog Ruby and the pack truly enjoyed the nice sunny day we were blessed with. They were running around on the grass that is finally showing from under the melting snow, and wrestling with each other. Maggie, because she is about half the size of the other three dogs, mostly barks from the sidelines as a referee. Meal time has to be their favorite though because they are pros at puppy dog eyes. Small morsels of food make their way under the table and to some very happy puppies.

This year my aunt provided plastic eggs for an egg hunt. I helped out with hiding them in the front yard, mostly to avoid potential doggy yard bombs getting in the way. The eggs held small bouncy balls, dino skeletons, tiny unicorns, and of course candy. Over 50 eggs were hidden with various difficulty and thankfully all were found. Jokes were made that we would lose a few and find it months or even years later and laugh about it.

Easter day featured a large brunch as a celebration. My aunt and her crew had to return home that afternoon so we had decided early on to have brunch be our big meal that day. Colored eggs were surrounded by coffee cake, waffles, an egg bake, bacon, sausage, orange rolls, and topped off by fruit. If there is one thing my family can do, it is cook. Several people were asking for half servings of things because they wanted to maintain room for a taste of everything.

Family has always meant the world to me. Easter is just another reason to see them and celebrate life together. I will forever be grateful to have been blessed with such an incredible family to celebrate with.

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-A small message from Maggie, who hit the keyboard with her paw as I was writing.

Birthdays: Celebrating Another Year!

Well, I have made another trip around the sun. I am another year older. Maybe a little bit wiser too? I have always enjoyed the extra love I receive on my birthday. Getting woken up by my parents before they leave for work, so they can be the first ones to wish me a very Happy Birthday and give me my present. This year it was two new sets of very soft pajamas that I was in desperate need of. As I have gotten older I have come to value more the presents that are things that I need and will actually use, than the silly luxury gifts. Things like new pjs and bookmarks from my one of my favorite fandoms, show that the person was really listening to me and knows details about me that shows they care.

I also love gifts of new things I haven’t had the chance to try, especially art things. My friend B. sends me a gift every year and usually it is some art tool I haven’t been brave enough to spend my own money on because I am afraid that I won’t get my moneys worth out of it. I have gotten to try out so many new things just because she is my friend and she listens when I offer up ideas that I would like to try.

Gifts also have a challenge for the Birthday Person, at least I personally have one. I don’t want to ask for too much from my friends and family. Money is a very real worry for me, and I know the feeling of not being able to afford that one thing that my loved one asked for. So to combat this worry a bit, I try and aim for a decent sized list of things that are around $20. Twenty bucks, to me, seems like a nice amount that you can still afford it but it is a quality gift. My friend A. loves when I go to the Dollar Tree to get her gift. The same amount of money gets quite a few little things that she will find useful and like a treat to herself. Like candy that she doesn’t have to share with her son or husband.

Speaking of A., she is what has become known as my Birthday Buddy. Her birthday is the day before mine, so we have taken to picking a day during the week and exchanging gifts between us. During high school, because her birthday means she is just over 24 hours older than me, it was fun to have someone to go through the milestone ages with. Our senior year, our 18th birthdays landed on a weekend, and my family took me out to dinner to celebrate along with a few of my friends. I hesitated planning the dinner for Saturday because that fell on A.’s birthday and I didn’t want to intrude on her day. Thankfully she is an incredible person and she understood when I asked. She attended the dinner and we sang her happy birthday as well.

Looking back on my birthdays, I have always felt loved and celebrated. No matter how small the present, my loved ones have more than made up for it with time. Time spent cooking my favorite meal for a birthday dinner. Time spent picking up a cheese cake from the bakery. (I much prefer cheese cake over regular cake.) Time spent making my heart melt with mushy notes written on cards. Many of which I keep in a treasure box in my bedroom. But most of all, time spent making me laugh and smile.

I am so grateful for my incredible friends and amazing family. They make each trip around the sun that much better.

Introducing Erza

On November 19th, 2019 I lost my childhood cat Smokey. Smokey was incredibly special to me and losing her hit me particularly hard. For the first bit I was processing my grief, I noticed that I was mostly missing the small moments of companionship that Smokey had shared with me. The solution that my Mom found was to chose another companion in the form of another cat.

Exactly two weeks after losing Smokey, my mom picked me up from campus. I was in college at the time. We headed for the local humane society and asked to see the kittens that they had at the shelter. Due to the amount they had living there, they had dedicated a room to house the kittens.

I was first to get to the door, so I opened it. The moment the door was open far enough one of the kittens vaulted over the baby gate that was supposed to prevent them from leaving the room in one large group. While the shelter employee and my mom corralled the escapee, I continued into the room.

Several kittens looked up at me and a few others were trying to hide. There were several different types of cat, from long to short hair, and several different colors. Maybe it was the contrast from Smokey, who looked like a Siamese, I was looking for, or maybe just loving the incredible colors, but I found myself reaching for the calicos. (Calico cats have black, white, and orange coloring on their fur, that is featured in blocks of colors, not mixed.)

The first calico I picked up, even though I didn’t know it at the time, was the kitten that had tried to escape. Apparently when she had gotten out of the room she made a bee line for the front door like she was trying to run away from the shelter. The moment I got her into my arms she started purring. I felt this instant connection with this tiny life.

On the inside of the door was a list of the kittens in the room. The list included their names, ages, and identifying features. Looking on the list I managed to place a name with the five month old kitten in my arms, Erza. At first I read it as Ezra, which makes me laugh now, and I had to read her name at least three times before I realized the letters were correct but I had mispronounced her name. Even through the name issues, Erza was still purring and making herself comfy in my arms.

I tried my best to really consider my options, considering how many kittens there was to choose from, but I had this connection growing with Erza as she purred in my arms. So I informed my mom and the shelter employee of my choice.

That connection that I could feel starting with Erza, was very similar to the bond that I had with Smokey. Maybe it is wishful thinking, but I think Smokey played a part in getting Erza and me together. She told Erza that her family was coming and that is why Erza jumped the gate. Doesn’t hurt that Erza has proven to be very curious about the world.

We ended up taking home a second kitten from the shelter as well as Erza. This kitty ended up bonding with my brother and is named Gobi, like the desert. My mom couldn’t leave Gobi at the shelter because in the viewing window, he was trying his best to show how much he just wanted love.

Erza, Gobi, and Gobi’s litter mate Pho, that we had adopted from Pet Smart a few days before, are now three years old and will be four in June. They explore and play all the time. I am beyond grateful for Erza and all the healing she has helped me through.

Warm Thoughts On Cold Days

Growing up, snow days were always interesting. Sledding with my siblings, playing in the snow, and warm drinks when we came back inside. Now as an adult, I don’t participate in these outdoor activities very often and I much prefer to stay inside when the weather starts to turn sour. When it comes to weather, I am very much a “Goldilocks” type person. Not too hot, not too cold, I need it just right.

On cold weather days now, I curl up inside with my cat Erza, and enjoy indoor entertainment. Reading a book, binging my latest show obsession, or playing with my dogs, all serve as activities to help me get through the day. Every so often though, I will through on my jacket and boots to step outside with my dogs into the back yard. River and Cooper, the two boys, will often race through the snow drifts, wrestling and playing tag, while Maggie, the girl, who is smaller than the boys, barks at them as some form of referee or egging them on from the sidelines. Maggie is small enough that when these large snow storms come to my area, my Dad actual takes the snow plow and makes paths around the back yard to allow Mags to actually go out in the yard with the boys and do her business somewhere other than the shoveled out patio. My grandparent’s dog, Ruby, has become well known for loving the snow and will go out and must roll around on her back at least once before she will come inside. When she comes to visit my house, she absolutely adores having more dogs to romp through the snow with and more space to roll around in fresh untouched powder, because her yard at home isn’t very big.

Warm memories also help get through the days where it seems like the white powder won’t stop falling from the sky. I remember making stews and soups with my Grandma and Grandpa when we would come visit during the winter months. Once we were old enough to start helping out, we would be put to work, peeling potatoes and carrots, chopping vegetables, and mixing up dough for either homemade noodles or dumplings. This work was always accompanied by laughter and most of the time some form of music coming from the player in the corner of the kitchen.

I live in Wisconsin where if you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it will change. While I really dislike snow, too the point that I tease my family that it is another four letter swear word that starts with S, I don’t think I could see myself being too far from here for that long. Wisconsin is home. Wisconsin has my family, and has been the location that a lot of my favorite memories have been made. No matter my opinion on snow, I doubt I could leave the warm memories and loving people behind.

The Power of Stories

Growing up I would always hear my Grandpa, better known as Papa, tell these incredible stories that just had people hanging off his every word. He could make people laugh and make them have a great day just by telling these stories about his life. Those stories are some of my best memories. Because of him, I learned the power of telling stories.

One afternoon at the annual family reunion I saw the usual circle of family telling jokes and stories back and forth, making everyone laugh. So I walked up to my Papa and asked if I could give it a shot. I took a deep breath and told my story.

I was around ten years old and visiting my grandparents at the family cabin. Standing at the end of the dock, I was holding on to a fishing pole, trying my best to actually catch something. I took a step forward without realizing that I really was at the very end of the dock. Falling into the water, I was at least grateful that I was wearing my swim suit. When I finally got out of the water and retrieved the fishing rod, I found out that my uncle had caught a blue gill. Turns out that he couldn’t do the whole catch an release, because when I fell into the water I shocked the fish into inhaling the hook and it got so deep that it couldn’t be released.

When I got done telling my story everyone was laughing and some were having a hard time staying in their chairs because they were laughing so hard. The thrill I got from making everyone laugh and happy was great. That moment made me even more determined to achieve my dream of becoming a published author.